Reasoning With Myself

How does the reasoning process work for you? I spend a reasonable amount of time in my head and have noticed the following themes over the past couple of years. I can have long periods of thinking about nothing, like not really thinking and not really bothered about anything. During these periods I usually make myself busy – not necessarily productive mind you, but I can find a way to spend the time. More recently I have found myself more ‘conscious’ of my time, so my productivity has increased by giving my tasks time periods to work with. It is through giving these tasks defined periods or time blocks that I have become more aware of my feelings around certain things.

I think previously, my approach to life was like my daughters friends polite approach to dinner she didn’t want to eat. She would push food around the plate for a longish period of time, distract people with talking and once the dinner time period of time had passed, she says – I’m not really hungry and remove her plate and contents from it from the table. Decent strategy for things you don’t have to do. Sometimes though there are things on our plate that we want to or need to do and while we don’t ‘have’ to do them on some level them may be necessary for our personal evolution or something we need to accomplish.

Fun Things v’s Uncomfortable Things

Dealing with uncomfortable feelings is not something I am used to. It is only recently that I have accepted to some things are just going to feel uncomfortable until they are not. In the meantime I have to be willing to make those choices and go through those patches of discomfort. Personally I get a distinct feeling right in the middle of my chest plate, it almost feels like the tightening of a few strings. It shows up for me more when I am doing things for myself (work/personal projects) and less when I am doing things for others. Eg it is easy for me to put someones project or work in front of mine, for whatever reason it feels more comfortable. It feels uncomfortable for me to put my needs out front and follow those. I Imagine for many others it is second nature and they may have no idea what the heck I am even talking about – if that is you, good for you, I admire your skills.

Recently for a number of reasons I have been forced, ahem, I mean been given the opportunity 🙂 to follow my passions and pursue the path that resonates most with me. In following that, there are a number of things I don’t want to do that I will do, (primarily because I am operating in an online space) even though they feel uncomfortable. Then there are some that I have always wanted to do that I am doing and they feel like so much fun.

Following Your Joy – Choosing You

Setting yourself up for success involves a few important steps. A concept I have been considering a lot lately and talking about it is this – choosing you, it works each and every time. Yes, don’t worry I am not about to not be a good Samaritan, and plow over the needy or anything of the sort. That is not at all what I am discussing or suggesting. What I am talking about is that we are designed and the world around us is designed to respond to clear thoughts and intentions of what we want to achieve and what our goals and dreams are. If we keep putting other people or things in front of those innermost desires and wishes it has a number of negative consequences: 1) we don’t achieve or ever allow ourselves to dream or live the big or mini dreams that are bustling in our heart and 2) it makes it next to impossible for the universe to deliver anything we want to us because of our conflicting instructions. When we have conflicting desires running us, they tend to just neutralize each other and we don’t ‘get’ anything – or we just get more of the same, and we are left wondering why nothing has changed.

Back to those uncomfortable feelings or feelings of discomfort. My recent idea has been this – what if those feelings are actually a good thing, and they are just like horses at the gate of a race waiting for the gates to life before they can take off. That is thought number one. Thought number two is that it is just my alter ego wanting to keep me in check and stop me from changing from my ‘known’ personality into a completely different ‘unknown’ personality, I mean who knows what I might do next. 😁 (it’s probably totally cheesy to put an emoji in a serious blog, but I just did it 😂) even emojis have their place.

Letting Things Line Up

This past few weeks I have been on the first vacation I have been on in about eighteen years. In the past eighteen years, yes, I have been to visit family overseas for 1-2 weeks at a time, and while that is fun, it is not a vacation. I have taken mini breaks of two maybe three days at time, but never committed to a long break. This is somewhat of a working vacation, but I wouldn’t really call it work as I generally enjoy it. I booked it before I got back to the states as I knew I would just easily slip back into old habits of doing the same things expecting different results – Einstein’s definition of stupidity. After I booked it I discovered that the area has a number of things I have always wanted to do – glass blowing classes, surfing lessons and so on. What was interesting for me about this process is that I just followed my heart and trusted that wherever I landed would be where I wanted to be – and it is/was. Yesterday was my second time on my surfboard in my life – it was so much fun. The first time was when I was about 8 and I remember catching a wave and that feeling has been with me my entire life so I wanted a re-run. I had more than a few reasons to ‘not’ do it. I am still dealing with frozen shoulder on left arm, I still have a surface open wound, my bones apparently are challenged due to health issues I am working on. Feeling a little like Nemo with his gimpy fin, I was like, what that heck, if something is going to happen to me so what (that’s me reasoning with myself). It was the most condensed physical fun I have let myself have in too long. I did stand up a few times and caught maybe eight waves and it was so worth it for that feeling of wellbeing.

Your horses are at the gate, waiting for you to lift it – are you going to do it. If not now, then when?

Feel free to contact me if you want to have a look at anything that might be blocking you subconsciously https://ailish.com/booking

or just go ahead an just do it – give yourself permission, just go thought the discomfort and start choosing you. Have fun!

Picture below is of one of the things got to do here in Savannah. Airbnb offers experiences and one was a photoshoot with a Vogue photographer – I was on it immediately and unashamedly. I told my daughter and she was like – “No Mom, you are not going to be in Vogue” I loved that she thought that was a possibility and for the heck of it I am going to add that to my list of goals, just to see what happens. Worst case scenario I won’t be in Vogue, oh well. Be well, start living, there is no guarantee.