Benedict's Blessing
Traveling is unpredictable, as is life
It throws all sorts of things onto the path along the way.
Earlier in the year, while traveling with a small group, we arrived in Lourdes in the evening before the sunset. I hadn’t planned this specific destination for our rolling journey, but welcomed it, having grown up with Lourdes as a noted place of pilgrimage.
A stunning drive from Spain through the Pyrenees had made it already worth it.
Cassocks were streaming across the courtyard into Our Lady of Lourdes Church, the evening we arrived. The ratio of priests to people was about 2:1 on this off-season week.
As things would have it, I noticed one priest specifically on arrival as he reminded me of someone I knew, and for some reason we crossed paths at least three times in the next 24 hours.
Later that evening in search of food, our small group walked around town. I found a shop that was closed, in the window were some interesting Celtic like crosses which I thought to return to purchase the following day.
Lourdes had been a place of interest to me for some time due to the influence and apparitions of Our Lady and the light infused healing waters from the spring that flows from underneath the cave of Apparitions.
Our Lady of Lourdes is a title of the Mother Mary, following her apparitions in 1858 in the grotto at Lourdes, to Bernadette Soubirous, a fourteen-year-old peasant girl. Our Lady instructed Bernadette to dig in the ground nearby to locate a spring which had healing properties, active to this day.
On 11 February 1858, a 14-year-old peasant girl, Bernadette Soubirous, reported that she went to fetch some firewood with her sister and another companion when a lady who was indescribably beautiful appeared to her in the grotto of Massabielle (from masse vieille: “old mass”). The grotto was next to the Gave de Pau river. The “lady” was standing on a rose bush above the main cavity of the Massabielle grotto.
One thing life has taught me is that sometimes healing is available, but not on your timing. Closed door after closed door after closed door brought us here to locate a zero ground of sorts, a basis to start the quest from again. A quest for healing.
Our group included some enthusiastic younger members, anxious to partake in the healing and miracles Lourdes is know for. They had done their research and quoted a blog “You first go and cleanse yourself by making a confession; Then you go and pray at the Grotto; If you can, then go up the mountain to pray The Way of The Cross and then go for a bath in the healing waters, putting yourself in Mary’s Hands”
“And we have found that eveyone who has gone through the process. and done it property, they may not have had a physical cure, but they have had either a mental, or spiritual or a physical cure…they are completely different people to what they were when they came here.”
One member of our group had decided to try this recommendation in a effort to receive some relief from a number of health challenges they were working through.
First we were to go to confession; then pray at the grotto; then walk The Way for the Cross and then Splash or bathe in the waters
As background this group member was baptized as Catholic at birth and had received some of the traditional blessings over the years, they had spent a number of years attending a Baptist Church also.
Pilgrims, priests and nuns were flowing around the church grounds that morning, confessionals in English opened at 9:30.
Ready to clear the past in order to open the path to the future, we waited in the Confessional building.
The sun was shining in through the opaque glass, the priests’ hands were waving what looked like absolving, but even the sun shining through the bright box could not lift the gloom of being told by the confessional priest
“no, I cannot absolve you”
“You see you have not prepared in the right way, so you will have to go back to your local parish and take part in communion rites there first:
“Yes, in order to do that you have to do a first confession first but you cannot do the first confession here today. I will Bless you but I cannot absolve you today… Come back when you have prepared”
After the initial disbelief faded, the frustration, the anger, the questions came –
Where in the Bible did Jesus ask – “have you filled out the necessary paperwork?” or
Suffer little children who come onto me, then go away and suffer some more and then come back when you are prepared…nowhere. Although it felt like being Gods’ Rejects, the rejection was not coming from God.
I am a hope springs eternal person and for me one of the cruelest things you can do is to strip hope from a person.
I was indignant, not at God, but at the structure of the Church, as it was proving to me to be limited, which seemed futile. I didn’t question my faith or the presence of God, admittedly sometimes I did question His timing.
Like true champions, the younger members concluded – “well, if something was worth doing, then it was worth doing half assed.” Given that confession was not permitted, we first went to the Grotto to the kinder and more approachable “Our Lady of Lourdes” remembering she who had appeared to an unprepared 14-year old Bernadette.
Instead of confessing in the confession box, we decided our confessions would take place alone, seated at the feet of a statue of Jesus on the mountain. We washed in the spring waters. We lit candles and said prayers asking for blessings for those who went before us and those who were with us who needed support. We returned to the hotel for the afternoon, still a bit tired and dejected.
I went out in search of food to bring back to the hotel and I was contemplating the events of the morning on my walk. I was headed to the Joan of Arc restaurant which was close to the Medal store.
Still somewhat angry at those who maintain the station of God’s representatives but mainly hurt by the rejection received by the younger members in the group..
I got to the Joan of Arc restaurant – it was closed so I headed towards the Relic shop, it also looked closed. No lights were on and the door was slightly ajar. I peeked in and the owner explained in French that the electricity was off on the street.
I pointed to the crosses and medals and asked how much they were so I could get the right amount of cash to pay.
Then I noticed writing on the box “St Benoit conjure Le Mauvais Sort” indicating they were St. Benedict medals which provided – protection and blessings from evil and spells.
I pondered for more than a moment, not sure if I wanted to or needed to go there. I didn’t want to get into that as I didn’t think that was what was going on. Then I reminded myself that it was the shape of the Cross that first got my attention and to trust myself regarding what I should get. Not knowing anything about St Benedict I thought it probably would be just fine.
Seeing my deliberation the shop owner showed me how she had them stuck the medals to the door for protection of the store and how they are helpful. “Protection is helpful” I thought, I left to go get cash as the power was out and the card machine wasn’t working.
Back up to the center of the village, with more than a few delays along the way about 20 minutes later I’m heading back down to get my St Benedict cross & Medals.
My head returned to earlier thoughts and I find myself walking just behind a priest in a long black cassock. Still feeling rejected by the Church but also frustrated at the Church turning someone away in their time of need. I thought “you know, I shall say something to this priest as maybe, maybe it might help some other young person in the future if they were to seek help from this priest.”
I moved a few step’s faster to catch up to the priest. As things would have it, it turned out to be the priest I had seen a number of times previously. “Father, excuse me for interrupting, may I talk to you about something?” He stopped and said yes and we started to have this conversation in French and English.
I explained my frustration for our younger friend and at the church for its red tape. I explained that I knew it was not a rejection from God, as God would not turn away a contrite heart but more that it was painful to be turned away particularly at that moment when someone who had challenges was turning to God for help. I said I understand you are not able to do anything about this as the Church has its rules and requirements, but maybe in the future this conversation might help someone else in a similar situation.
His eyes were kind and the blue of the Elysian waters flowing through the town. He offered “I understand that was hard. I hope that their confession can be complete sometime. I can bless your friend if you wish and I will also pray for them.“
“Yes, please, Thank you. I replied. I would appreciate that”
He then asked their name, and said that he would pray for them, that their prayers would be heard, and their confession would be received.
I really did appreciate his kindness and willingness to listen and converse. It was retreat week in Lourdes and that was why there were so many priests he explained.
What is your name? I asked
It is Benedict, he replied
“Seriously!” I said now feeling emotional, “Oh God you are kidding me” I said to both God and him at the same time.
Through eyes that were now tearing, I explained that I was on my way to buy some St Benedict medals right here at this store up ahead.
He smiled and said – “you know can ask any priest at the Church to Bless them for you, usually these medals would be blessed, there is a special prayer for them”
Can I ask you? I asked “It seems appropriate as your name is Benedict” and we were almost by the shop. “Of course” he nodded
A few doors away, the shop shutter was already pulled down, the store now looked closed.
“It was open just a few minutes ago” he said.
I looked in and the lady was inside, about to leave through the other door. She saw me, opened the shutter again, I paid for the medals and went back outside.
A few moments and steps later, our paths were parting. I put the medals into my hand and asked him to Bless them.
“You know these medals are used in Exorcisms” he said before he started.
My eyebrows must have reached above my head,
“to remove demons from places” he said.
Not being up to speed on this particular Holy feature and wondering if he felt I was intending to use them as such, I felt the need to ask “Is it okay for me to have them and use them for protection”
“Of Course” he said, “everybody uses them for that”
Okay I responded, well I trust that these are intended for us, and my faith is strong, so yes please bless them and us.
He proceeded with the blessing and prayer in French. He then paused for a for a moment in contemplation and then instructed me to wash them in the holy waters of the spring before using them.
I thanked him and asked him were is church was – St Bernard’s Church in Dijon.
Thank you I said, I will come and see you there one day in the future.
dGod works in wonderous ways. This message and blessing was personal and powerful and it was received with delight by our group. Know that our prayers are always heard and answered appropriately, in ways we cannot see much of the time, oft indirectly.
That God may bless you, your family, relatives and ancestors